The Right Stuff

My son, who just turned 40 called me last night.  He said he wanted to tell me before anyone else did that he failed another stress test.  I don’t know how many he has had, but I do know he takes them regularly since he had his heart attack at 32.  And, I don’t know exactly how many he has failed, but it is a noticeable number. 

It is not my nature to keep score of how many he passed or failed, but where he is now.  His life has been a rock climb.  He was born with multiple birth defects, serious enough to have him transported on his first day of life to the best hospital in the region; the same hospital the President would be taken to with a sudden life-threatening emergency. 

It was made clear to us that he would probably not survive more than a day or two, since one of his birth defects was a sharply recessed chin that caused infants to choke on their own tongue if turned on their backs. 

The doctors operated and placed a wire through his jaw and tongue to hold it forward, while they administered growth hormones to make the chin grow.  His prognosis grew to weeks then months. 

To give an example of his tenacity, when we were allowed to take him home and his wire was to be removed, the doctor called us in to see him in the incubator.  The wire was lying beside him.  The doctor remarked, he didn’t like it, so he took it out; this is the first baby I have ever seen who performed surgery on himself. 

Many operations and many years later, almost all of his birth defects were corrected, he is a productive adult, and all those doctors who predicted his early demise are dead. 

He has never met the girl of his dreams and spent his social time in his favorite bar, drinking and smoking, on a diet of fast fried food. 

One of his birth defects was that he was born without knee joints, which impacted most of his exercise, if he was inspired to try it. 

As a result, when he was 32, he awoke with the sure knowledge he was having a heart attack, because of the elephant sitting on his chest. 

As another example of his tenacity, he drove himself to the hospital, several miles away, walked into Emergency, announced he was having a heart attack and asked them to park his car. 

Fortunately, that attack was not the killer.  After an angioplasty and five stents inserted into his arteries, he came home with the knowledge that his life style had certainly caused the attack. 

He was good for a while, with his mother, sister and brother riding him, but one thing I know about people is that motivation must come from inside.  The old habits slowly returned, even though the drug costs for blood thinners and beta-blockers are budget breakers. 

As his father, I raised him to have a kind heart, and he does, but he must maintain his own body.  He has promised to quit smoking immediately after this year’s Super Bowl, and hopefully, he will.    Smoking is a drug addiction that hardens arteries.  My wife quit smoking 20 years ago, and still needs something like mints to keep in her mouth.

I certainly do not want to lose my child, but he is an adult, responsible to himself.  The promises he makes must be to himself to be effective and lasting, and he must always be vigilant to keep them and not relax the rules. 

The good news is he is not done yet.  I’m optimistic his tenacity will reform his health so he can join me when I turn the century.